“You will love L.A. if you’re the kind of person who enjoys possessing no less than eleven Bed Bath & Beyond coupons at one time, believes that dogs should never be on a leash, craves an opportunity to wear a Hawaiian shirt, and is exceedingly patient with everything, everywhere, at all times.”

“This is a town where, to be a “producer” — like an “agent” or a “consultant” — is to be The Man without anyone knowing what you actually do all day.”

“New York is like dating a very crazy person who you have mad, passionate sex with. You just don’t know when they’re going to turn on you and get angry, and the weather’s gonna be horrible, and they’re going to treat you like shit. L.A. is more neutral. It doesn’t tell you how to feel. It doesn’t guide you in the direction of what you’re supposed to be doing and how you’re supposed to be doing it. But you can come here and create a little world for yourself. It’s a very generous city.”

“I think what’s wonderful about L.A. is what’s horrible about New York and vice versa. One of the things that Charlie says about L.A. is that it’s this blank canvas that reflects you back at you. So if you’re happy, L.A. is great. If you’re not, L.A. sucks. Whereas New York is, like, its own kind of energy. It’s got its own character and either you’re in the flow of that and things are going great, or it’s kicking your ass. There’s really no in between.”